- Borrow money from pessimists, they don’t expect it back.
- Nothing is foolproof to a talented fool.
- An oil sheik says in a gallery:
I really admire Picasso.
There is nobody who was able to sell oil so expensive.
- Who was the world’s first stock broker? Noah – He floated his stock while the world was in liquidation.
- An investor to his advisor:
Is really all my money gone? No, of course not. It’s just with somebody else!
What leads most people into debt? Trying to catch up with people who are already there.
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Don’t marry for money; you can borrow it cheaper.
- If you think no one cares about you, try missing a couple of payments.
- The cost of living is the difference between your net income and your gross habits!
- Money is always there, but the pockets change.
- Foreign Aid:
The transfer of money from poor people in rich countries to rich people in poor countries.
- Remember the golden rule:
Those who have the gold make the rules.
- “A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don’t need it.”
- When the CEO dropped his brownie on the calculator, was he trying to fudge the numbers?
- Securities are the cause of many people's insecurities.
- When buying and selling are controlled by legislation, the first things to be bought and sold are legislators.
- Rule No.1: Never lose money, Rule No.2: Never forget rule No.1.
- Maybe money corrupts the character; but lack of money isn't going to improve it either.
- I saw a bank that said if offered 24 Hour Banking." But I didn’t go in. I didn’t have that much time.
- Life Insurance: A contract that keeps you poor all your life so you can die rich.
- In the business world, the rearview mirror is always clearer than the windshield.
- As long as people will accept crap, it will be financially profitable to dispense it.
- The government deficit is the difference between the amount of money the government spends and the amount it has the nerve to collect.
- The safest way to double your money is to fold it over and put it in your pocket.
- Money can’t buy happiness, but it can make you awfully comfortable while you’re being miserable.
- Business: The art of extracting money from another man's pocket without resorting to violence.
- The opulence of the front office decor varies inversely with the fundamental solvency of the firm.
- Money is not the most important thing in the world. Love is. Fortunately, I love money.
- A careful study of economics usually reveals that the best time to buy anything is last year.
