Just Like That

  • Borrow money from pessimists, they don’t expect it back.
  • Nothing is foolproof to a talented fool.
  • An oil sheik says in a gallery:
    I really admire Picasso.
    There is nobody who was able to sell oil so expensive.
  • Who was the world’s first stock broker? Noah – He floated his stock while the world was in liquidation.
  • An investor to his advisor:
    Is really all my money gone? No, of course not. It’s just with somebody else!
  • What leads most people into debt? Trying to catch up with people who are already there.
  • Don’t marry for money; you can borrow it cheaper.
  • If you think no one cares about you, try missing a couple of payments.
  • The cost of living is the difference between your net income and your gross habits!
  • Money is always there, but the pockets change.
  • Foreign Aid:
    The transfer of money from poor people in rich countries to rich people in poor countries.
  • Remember the golden rule: Those who have the gold make the rules.
  • “A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don’t need it.”
  • When the CEO dropped his brownie on the calculator, was he trying to fudge the numbers?
  • Securities are the cause of many people's insecurities.
  • When buying and selling are controlled by legislation, the first things to be bought and sold are legislators.
  • Rule No.1: Never lose money, Rule No.2: Never forget rule No.1.
  • Maybe money corrupts the character; but lack of money isn't going to improve it either.
  • I saw a bank that said if offered 24 Hour Banking." But I didn’t go in. I didn’t have that much time.
  • Life Insurance: A contract that keeps you poor all your life so you can die rich.
  • In the business world, the rearview mirror is always clearer than the windshield.
  • As long as people will accept crap, it will be financially profitable to dispense it.
  • The government deficit is the difference between the amount of money the government spends and the amount it has the nerve to collect.
  • The safest way to double your money is to fold it over and put it in your pocket.
  • Money can’t buy happiness, but it can make you awfully comfortable while you’re being miserable.
  • Business: The art of extracting money from another man's pocket without resorting to violence.
  • The opulence of the front office decor varies inversely with the fundamental solvency of the firm.
  • Money is not the most important thing in the world. Love is. Fortunately, I love money.
  • A careful study of economics usually reveals that the best time to buy anything is last year.